I’m Christina Sheehan, LPC. LMHC. Highly Sensitive Counselor
Feeling stuck is wisdom.
Therapy is a bridge from your current life to the one that is calling you.
Christina Sheehan, MS. LPC. LMHC.
Who I am.
Hi I’m Christina and I Have Been Where You Are.
I didn’t realize I was highly sensitive/empathic until I was 45. My clinical supervisor (I had just finished my counseling masters) said to me, “of course you feel the way you do, you’re empathic.” I stared at her for a moment, (probably with my mouth hanging open) and whispered, “I am?”
As I learned more about myself and about highly sensitive people, I noticed that many of my clients struggled with feeling too much, feeling resentful that others were not as accommodating as they were, and feeling misunderstood most of their lives. AND blaming themselves. All struggles HSP’s can experience. I decided to specialize in helping highly sensitive people learn and embrace their true selves without justifying or apologizing for who they are. And I love it!
As I helped more and more highly sensitive people, especially women, it became obvious that some were seriously struggling in their relationships. I started to do more research (my intellectual part loves to take the lead when I feel helpless) and what started to come into focus was not that my clients expected others to treat them as they treated others (although that would be nice)- with empathy, respect, second chances, but that the more they gave the less they received in return.
The confusion my clients experienced was extraordinary. I could see clearly that they were not causing the problems, though they blamed themselves. Through my experience (see below*) and research I found out that highly sensitive people/empaths are often hooked into relationships with people who have narcissistic tendencies.
I questioned this because being sensitive and an introvert, as many of my clients are, I could see the loud, obnoxious, spotlighting hogging, self-interested people a mile away and avoided them as much as I could.
What I found out was that I had been snagged by what is now being called a covert or vulnerable narcissist. It’s important to know that like with most things, narcissistic tendencies lie on a scale, some people can be at a 10, and others can be at a 1 or 3. It doesn’t make them ‘bad’ people. But maybe not the right people for you.
*I was lucky and my covert narcissist relationships (yep, more than one-very common) were fairly mild. But the thing with sensitive people is that even mild tendencies can sap our energy, cause us to doubt our worth, and make us dim ourselves down to avoid conflict and blaming ourselves. Mine did things like pout through my special events like weddings and graduations. I felt like I couldn’t enjoy my moments as much as I wanted to because I had to think about ‘their feelings’. I did things like give them gifts so they could feel special too. Looking back I can see clearly what was happening-pulling the focus to themselves- but during it I was trying to placate them for ‘supporting me’. Sound familiar?
Benign things started to feel heavier. Complaining about spending time with family and often being ill during those visits so we had to leave early. Telling everyone about a great thing they did for me while complaining about how hard it was for them! Constantly interrupting while I was studying, working or meditating. Complaining that….. sooooo much complaining and negativity. All ‘little things’ that seemed to have legit reasons, but added up with me spending years bending my life around theirs and trying not to hurt their ‘delicate’ feelings.
So here’s the thing. I participated willingly in all of this. I thought this is what it means to be a kind caring person who thought of others and was unselfish. I was wrong.
Here was the straw: after my mother’s unexpected death it became obvious that some of the people around me were annoyed with my grief. They tried to support me in their own way, but underneath it I felt the resentment that I was not there for them as much.
I didn’t have the energy anymore to listen to them talk about the same things over and over, to be excited about boring (to me) things in their lives like I had in the past. I began to pull my energy away from these relationships. I was putting my grief and myself first.
I knew I needed to do this to heal and be able to move forward with my life. I decided that Self-Centered was not a bad word, but an essential need for me and every woman. To live a life centered on myself instead of wrapping my life around someone else - whether a friend, spouse or boss.
I am still learning, still growing, still messing up, but I know I need to be the center of my life.
If this at all sounds familiar, know that you can feel better, even if you don’t/or can’t leave. Even if it feels scary and impossible.
I can help you have a Self-Centered life.
What I Believe In
Depth.
Depth Therapy is based on the psychology of Carl Jung and believes you have a conscious and an unconscious life. The unconscious can be running the show without your knowledge. In this type of therapy I guide you through a process to help you access self awareness and inner wisdom as we gently uncover the parts of you that need conscious healing. We work from the inside out & we always uncover without shame or blame. This is how we start becoming more of who we are & less of who we are not.
Transparency.
Some people come to therapy expecting to go to a couple of sessions until the counselor tells them what to do about their problem. I don’t do that. You are the only one who can solve your problems. But I do have the training, experience and intuition to guide you to the places within yourself that have the answers you seek. Therapy shouldn’t mysterious, you should know how you made a shift in a pattern and why you are feeling better and how to recreate it. My ultimate goal for you is to become your own therapist, so I will often explain why certain questions are helpful and inquire about how you made the change and how you know something is different.
Compassion.
Compassion is the back bone of all the work I do, and self-compassion is the foundation. The most important part of any therapy is the relationship between client and therapist. If after a few sessions, you don’t feel compassion from me, then we will find a therapist that works for you. Remember that not all compassion comes as hearts & flowers. Fierce therapeutic compassion can say what is needed even when it is hard to hear. It’s ok to get pissed at your therapist. Talk about it. We can handle it.
Humor.
For me humor is an essential part of my life. It brings entertainment, perspective, new ideas, relief from boredom and overwhelm. Humor helps us through the hard times and celebrates with us during the good times. The ability to laugh at yourself, to not take your self so seriously gives you the energy to fight for what you are passionate about. And you have more fun. Laughter is often a part of therapy, and being able to laugh at ourselves a bit can help us put things into perspective when all seems dark.
Worth.
We are living in very challenging times, and we need new ways to cope, thrive and help the world. By learning how to access and trust our intuition, grow compassion for self and others, and learn to engage our empathic souls, we can begin to heal ourselves and others-just by becoming more of ourselves. When we believe in our own worth we move through the world wanting to boost up and empower others. Can you imagine a world where everyone felt their own intrinsic value, worth and power?
Modern.
I’m not the kind of therapist we envision from classic tv shows with the couch & the nods and smiles. I’m pretty active in session. I‘m curious and investigative and I want to dig in deep so your understanding and compassion for yourself can start to emerge and aha moments can begin. I will encourage you to turn the inner insights you have through our sessions into steps in the outer world. This is a gentle process that goes at your pace. I typically work with my clients long term, anywhere from 6 months to 6 years. Our work is about more than just alleviating symptoms, it seeks to help you build a life full of purpose, meaning and love.
My Qualifications
Specialized Training
*Certified Deconstructing Gaslighting Specialist *Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician *Secure Attachment Skills Mastermind with Diane Heller *Body Trust Certification Training with Be Nourished *Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction *Attachment, Trauma & Psychotherapy: Neural Integration *Clinical Applications of Internal Family Systems (IFS)
Accreditations
*Licensed Professional Counselor with the state of Oregon. LPC.
*Licensed Mental Health Counselor with the State of Washington. LMCH.
*Board Certified as a Nationally Certified Counselor: 2017
*Certified Rehabilitation Counselor: 2017
Education
*Masters in Clinical Rehabilitation Counseling: Portland State University
*Bachelor of Arts in Theatre: University of Portland